Resurrection: Bloodstained Memories
by LadyDeb1970
Summary: As protectors, Zechs, Talia and Shawn have vowed to make sure no more children have to fight. But is it a vow they can keep? Or will Ciara have her own bloodstained memories to haunt her dreams?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Zechs Merquise and Gundam Wing does not belong to me. However, the Malloy family and their friends (aside from Howard) do belong to me. I have no trouble with people borrowing them, so long as they give credit where credit is due, and return the characters intact.  
  
Blood-Stained Memories  
  
The sounds of gunfire and bombs exploding surrounded them. The young boy grabbed his older sister's hand and ran as fast as he could. Until fire exploded in front of him, knocking both siblings back several yards. The boy lay on his side, barely conscious. He knew, somewhere deep within his mind, that he had to move. That he would die if he didn't move. But he was tired. So tired.  
  
Then he heard a moan. It didn't even qualify as a moan, it sounded more like a wounded animal. What was that? He didn't remember seeing any animals when they went into town. The boy forced his eyes open, barely able to see for the blood streaming into his eyes. . .and then it was he who screamed like a wounded animal. Lying only yards away was his sister. She was alive. Just barely.  
  
The boy forced himself to his knees and crawled to her side. He almost vomited. She was alive, but wouldn't be for much longer. Her insides were torn from her body as a result of the explosion. She whimpered, her eyes pleading with him. Begging him. To do something. To make the pain stop. He ignored the pleading and pulled her into his arms, trying. . .not even sure what he was doing. He was only twelve years old, how could he save her?  
  
She was whispering something. What was she saying? The boy leaned closer, and his eyes widened with shock. "End it. Please. End it." He stared down at her, horrified. Her lips moved again, "Please?" He shook his head wildly. No, no, no! He couldn't do that, he couldn't! But somehow, the gun was in his hands. She mouthed, "I love you, little brother." The muzzle of the gun was pressing against her forehead, her eyes closed. The boy closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger, screaming as he did so. . .  
  
"N. . .OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shawn Malloy screamed, bolting upright. He drew several ragged breaths, looking around wildly. His heart thundered in his chest, tears filling his eyes. He was in his bedroom. In the house on L2. Shawn gave a sound which suspiciously resembled a whimper, then collapsed back against the pillows. He should have realized the nightmare would come back.  
  
He lay in bed, trembling for several moments, then forced himself to get up. The clock told him that it was four thirty. The others would probably be asleep, but he needed to check on them anyhow. Ciara and Talia, Zechs, too. Zechs. Without meaning to, the boy tore open old wounds. Shawn wouldn't dream of telling him that. The kid was carrying enough guilt.  
  
He hadn't dreamed of his sister in five years. It was twenty-three years since her death, twenty-three years since the night that began his transformation from a child to a cold assassin. Twenty-three years since he almost lost his soul. Shawn walked first to his wife's room. His wife. For some reason, though she carried the title, Shawn could never bring himself to make Talia his wife in all the ways that mattered.  
  
He cared for her, that was never in doubt. In the beginning, he couldn't take her to his bed, because of Elene. He loved her so much, more than his own life. More than his own soul. And truth be told, Shawn would have never made Talia his wife, if Father Maxwell hadn't interfered. Not for the first time, Shawn wished the old man kept his big trap shut. What was worse. . .people thinking that Talia was his mistress, or trapping them both in a marriage which would never go anywhere?  
  
Shawn couldn't take Talia to bed. Not because he couldn't. . .perform. He could. That was the problem. Elene told him years earlier that Talia was victimized. Someone hurt her, badly. He saw it himself. In the way she held herself back from touch. She shied away. Even from women touching her, though she tolerated Elene touching her, and the other women on L2.  
  
Talia never told them what happened, why she ran away from home . She wasn't even seventeen when they found her. But both Shawn and Elene could tell. She was victimized. . . violated. And it was so long now, since Shawn was with a woman. He was afraid. . .afraid of losing control. Afraid of becoming another man who violated Talia's trust. No. It was better this way. No matter what the consequences.  
  
He peeked into her room. She was sleeping on her side, her arms curled around a pillow. Shawn felt a smile cross his face. It was one of the few times when she seemed peaceful. When she slept. And when she was with Ciara. Or Zechs. Despite the memories which Shawn knew were returning. Talia admitted that she had another name once. That she was in the Sank Kingdom when it fell. And that the fall resulted in her brother's death.  
  
Blood-stained memories. They bound the three adults. Shawn, with his memories of his sister. Talia, with her memories of what happened that day, the violation of her body and soul, the murder of her brother. Zechs. . .Zechs. Shawn shook his head as he left his wife's room and continued to the boy's room. He wasn't sleeping nearly as peacefully as Talia.  
  
Still tormented by nightmares. Treize Khushrenada, his father, his sister. Too many memories tormented this boy of twenty. Shawn shook his head. He didn't have the fond memories of Relena Peacecraft which Talia evidently did, and just saw the girl as a little fool. Zechs told him that Relena tried to convince him not to target the colonies, by telling him God would never forgive him.  
  
Zechs laughed then, a low, bitter laugh, and lapsed into silence. He needed to say no more. Shawn understood. Zechs already gave up his soul, he believed, to make sure no more wars would occur. His younger sister telling him that God wouldn't forgive him was meaningless, as Zechs believed his soul was already damned. But it wasn't. His soul wasn't damned. And the God which Shawn always prayed to and believed in, forgave anything. Zechs was atoning for what he did, trying to make right what he did wrong. God, Shawn believed, already forgave the boy. He was just waiting on Zechs to forgive himself.  
  
Talia didn't believe in God. She never specified when she stopped believing, if she ever believed in the first place. Shawn didn't know. They never really talked about it. Aside from one time, and the memory of that conversation still burned in his memory. Even after ten years. He had, to borrow a phrase from Elene, put his foot in his mouth down to his throat.  
  
Howard agreed, when Shawn told him of the conversation. Howard. Shawn smiled fondly and shook his head as he left Zechs' room. The skinny, Hawaiian shirt-clad older man was one of the few males whom Talia permitted to touch her. Maybe it was the way he always asked if he could assist her. Taking her hand when the ground wasn't stable. He always asked. Maybe that was the key. Control was taken from her once, and Howard understood that. Shawn didn't know how. He was just grateful to the older man.  
  
After the second fall of the Sank Kingdom, Shawn and Howard often emailed each other. Howard, while he wouldn't say so, was worried about his young friend Zechs Merquise. In a way, he regarded the young ace as a son. Understandable, as he saved the boy's life after the colonel's defection from Oz. In a way, Howard brought about a rebirth for the youngster.  
  
Shawn shook his head as he pushed open his daughter's door. He constantly thought of Zechs as a child, as a boy. He was only twenty years old, but he lived three or four lifetimes in those twenty years. A colonel in the Oz Specials by the time he was nineteen years old, the leader of White Fang at twenty. He saw death and destruction, war and bloodshed for every day since he was six years old. He was no kid.  
  
And yet. . .he was. The way he reacted to Talia, his awkwardness in reacting to Ciara. //Put him in a Mobile Suit, and he's as deadly as someone my age,// Shawn thought as he watched his daughter sleep. //But when he's dealing with other people, with civilians, especially young girls. . .he's a shy teenager.// Shawn wondered what would have happened, during the reunion with Relena, if the young queen wasn't so judgmental.  
  
Zechs would never accuse his sister of being judgmental. Or of having poor judgment. Shawn wasn't constrained by memories, or by family ties. He could fill in the spaces. He could see the pain in Zechs' bright blue eyes when the younger man spoke of Relena's words to him when he embraced her on the Libra. Shawn never struck a woman in his life, but he wanted to after Zechs explained his reunion with his younger sister.  
  
Just as Ciara had, he remembered, when Zechs mentioned his battle with Heero Yuy in the Arctic. How Relena ordered the young gundam pilot to kill Zechs. . .before Lt. Noin icily informed the princess that Zechs Merquise was her brother. Ciara, Shawn remembered, flew into a rage. Vowed she would personally scratch out Relena's eyes for saying such a terrible thing. Had called the 'Queen of the World' a number of unflattering names.  
  
Protective, protective Ciara. She was a great deal like her namesake, her aunt in that respect. Her aunt Grania. Tears once more filled Shawn's eyes. He accepted a long time ago that there was nothing he could have done about the explosion that killed his sister. The bomb exploded on impact, sending shrapnel into his older sister's abdomen.  
  
But he never made peace with the other part of it. Holding a gun to his sister's head and pulling the trigger. She was dying. . .but Shawn couldn't accept that he might have gotten help for his sister that day. Maybe she didn't have to die. Maybe he could have saved her. He would never find out, because he couldn't bear the pain in her eyes. Had he been wrong?  
  
Shawn didn't know. He only knew that he couldn't live through that again. Regardless of his marriage to Talia, or lack thereof, she still meant a lot to him. Too much for him to stand by and watch anyone hurt her again. He would kill to protect his little girl, his sweet Ciara. And he was quickly growing fond of Zechs as well. It was hard not to. The hardness, the anger that Shawn saw in the White Fang leader, only a few months ago, was gone.  
  
Shawn didn't know what happened. Didn't really care. But Zechs was trying to deserve his second chance. He still didn't believe that he even deserved the right to work for it. But he was working nonetheless, if only to repay the Malloy family. Shawn sighed. He found he couldn't even be angry with Zechs any more about the kiss. Not that he ever blamed the kid. Ciara kissed Zechs. . .and the poor kid was too surprised by the liplock to react.  
  
Of course, Shawn would have killed Zechs if he did anything about the kiss. Like, returned it. But Zechs wasn't like that. Shawn knew that Zechs saw his younger sister when he looked at Ciara. Something that his little girl didn't understand yet. Zechs was always careful about the way he treated her, ever since their arrival on L2 the previous week. But Ciara didn't seem to accept that she could only be his little sister.  
  
Shawn sighed again and pushed his damp dark hair back from his eyes. The fear, the nerves which tormented him after the nightmare, dissipated. In another few minutes, Shawn would go back to his room and try to get some sleep. But for now, just for now, he would watch his daughter sleep. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. In another few minutes, his legs would stop shaking long enough for him to walk out.  
  
. . .  
  
Shawn hadn't slept well the night before. Talia could tell as soon as he entered the kitchen the following morning. Even before she turned around to place bowls in front of Zechs and Ciara, she could hear it in Shawn's steps. It briefly amused her, that she could know him that well. . .and yet, not know him at all. The amusement passed.  
  
"Daddy, are you okay?" Ciara asked anxiously as Shawn sat down heavily in a chair. Talia turned back to put the bowl of fruit in front of her husband, and bit down hard on her lower lip. Shawn looked awful. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his mouth was drawn into a tight line. The skin seemed to be drawn tighter across his high cheekbones. He looked, not to put too fine a point on it, like hell. Or death warmed over. Take your pick.  
  
"I'm fine, acushla. Just didn't sleep well last night. Neither did you, Zechs," Shawn said bluntly. That wasn't as obvious as it was with Shawn, but Talia saw how poorly Zechs slept. Nightmares again. No doubt about King Raoul and Treize Khushrenada. Her heart hurt for him, but she knew he had to face this on his terms. . .otherwise, he would never heal.  
  
That didn't stop her from hating her helplessness. Zechs answered softly, "I'm fine, Shawn." Yeah. Right. Tell me another one, as Elene used to say, Talia thought. The thought of her late friend caught in her throat. She remembered how guilty she felt when Elene died. Like she was some sort of jinx. Katarina was one of her dearest friends, and she died as well.  
  
But at a guess, Talia would say Shawn wasn't dreaming about Elene. For one thing, she was at his side during past illnesses, when he dreamed of Elene. And while she knew he missed his late wife, his memories were of the happier variety. He was delirious in fever, thinking that Elene was still with him. Yes. The memories there were happy ones, made bittersweet by her passing. No. . .no, at a guess, she would say that Shawn dreamed of that time before Elene. He told her a little of it, feeling at first that he should protect her from his past. What complete and utter rot. Still, he was male, and he was an Irish male at that. Elene always said that. . .adding that Irish males were rather protective of their women.  
  
Talia knew that Shawn was twelve years old when his older sister was killed. When his world changed for all eternity. That sounded so melodramatic. For all eternity. It was actually rather silly, when she thought about it. Nothing stayed the same. But some changes were so dramatic, so. . .blinding with the very swiftness of the event. . .that historians and poets often used the term. Especially poets. Dramatic types. Talia never considered herself a dramatic person. She was actually quite nondescript.  
  
Talia returned her attention to the two exhausted, silent men at her table. While Zechs was fifteen years younger than Shawn, it was difficult to tell that at the moment. His shoulders were hunched, as if he was expecting a blow. Or he was trying to curl in on himself. She had learned from certain Oz files that Zechs suffered a heart attack the first time he flew Tallgeese. Nineteen years old, and he had a heart attack. Mobile Suits always frightened Talia. . .now she knew why. But sometimes, it was necessary to conquer one's fears.  
  
She ran her hand lightly over Zechs' pale hair, smoothing it over his shoulders and back, then looked at Shawn. Ciara was looking from her father to Zechs and back again. She looked worried. Talia didn't blame her. However, she asked lightly, "Any ideas about breakfast, Shawn? We pick up the Pax today." She noticed Zechs' weak smile at the name they had given their new vessel.  
  
As Talia hoped when they first found the remnants of Epyon floating in space, their salvaging days were over. The money which they earned from the ruined Gundam, coupled with the money they made from selling off the Purgamentum, piece at a time, allowed them to buy a new vessel. They hadn't figured out yet what they would do with their new ship, and the small shuttles that they bought with Zechs' help. . .but both Talia and Shawn agreed that they were finished as salvagers.  
  
Shawn flashed her a weary smile as well, saying, "That we do. Ciara, m'girl, do you think you can avoid the bullies in the arcade t'day?" Ciara flushed and Talia touched the girl's shoulder. Zechs looked confused, and Shawn explained, "The last time Ciara went t' the arcade, she ran int' trouble. Luckily, there were four gundam pilots there t' rescue her."  
  
Zechs flinched at the mention of his former enemies, and Ciara explained, "It was Duo Maxwell, Quatre Winner, Chang Wufei, and Trowa Barton. I asked where Heero Yuy was, and they told me he was back on earth, paying respects. Whatever that means." Talia had a pretty good idea. She, like thousands of others, listened to the final battle between Heero and Zechs.  
  
The world believed that Zechs was dead. It stands to reason, Talia thought, remembering the conversation between the two young pilots, that Heero was paying his respects at Zechs' gravesite. I wonder. After all the times he himself has survived self-detonation, if it even occurred to Heero that Zechs might still be alive. She shook her head. Well, there was no telling. No telling at all.  
  
. . .  
  
It was decided by the three adults, after Zechs learned of Ciara's last run-in with bullies, that he would accompany the preteen, while Shawn and Talia closed on the deal that would make the Pax their new ship. As had become her custom during the last week, Ciara wove Zechs' blond hair into a braid that shorted the mane. It was an effective disguise. No one would think of Zechs Merquise or Milliardo Peacecraft with short hair.  
  
And it wasn't exactly short. Not as short as Shawn's, or Heero's, hair. But it still accomplished what Talia meant to do. In addition, Zechs was still healing from his broken ribs, so the way he moved was affected. He really shouldn't have been moving around much at all, even seven weeks after the destruction of Libra, but Zechs was a stubborn young man. And every night, he collapsed into bed, exhausted and aching. Stubborn, foolish boy.  
  
As Talia requested, he spoke little, as his voice was very distinctive. Even if the hair was disguised, it was much harder to disguise his voice. And then there was the matter of his eyes. The ice blue eyes, which could pierce as well as any sword. Talia shook herself. There she went again. She took care of the latter problem with a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses. Fortunately, the sun often made the glasses necessary. And when they were not, the baseball cap shadowed his eyes. Still, she was concerned it was overkill.  
  
They hadn't run into problems so far. And as Zechs walked with Ciara to the arcade, Talia sighed, turning her attention to other concerns. Like, where Zechs got the money to help pay for the shuttles. It really wasn't her business. For all his mistakes, Zechs would never do something wrong for a profit, so she doubted if the money was illegally received. But he was a soldier, and soldiers didn't make a lot of money. She told herself that it didn't matter. He asked to help, since they saved his life. It was a small thing. But Talia had to focus on something.  
  
As they headed away from the arcade, Shawn muttered something under his breath. Talia shook herself and Shawn added, swiping his dark brown hair back from his eyes, "I swear t' God, Tal, things just keep gettin' worse instead of better. I don't know who is worse, those idiots in the Romefellar Foundation or that little idiot Relena Dorlian."  
  
"Shawn," she reproved. While she didn't agree with Relena's policies, Talia knew the girl's heart was in the right place. No one wanted war. Not the soldiers. Not the people whose lives were torn apart by the battles and the bloodshed. But getting rid of the weapons wasn't the way to go about it. She learned that lesson from the fall of the Sank Kingdom.  
  
However, Shawn's nightmares the previous night had left him in an argumentative mood, and he replied, "It's true, Tal. You knew her when she was a little girl, just as you knew Zechs. But she's a child! A sixteen year old girl who was made Vice Foreign Minister! What does she know about diplomacy, what does she know of life? It's not her age I object to. She's the same as those gundam pilots, and they have a better idea of the world than she does."  
  
"She ruled the Sank Kingdom," Talia pointed out and Shawn made a noise of disgust, and Talia admitted, "All right, so that was a bad example. What would you have me say? I don't like the idea of total disarmament. I believe in keeping weapons for defensive use, because at some point, someone will decide to start a fight. But the girl is trying, Shawn. Doesn't that count for anything?"  
  
"I suppose it should, but she'll only get more people killed wi' this absolute pacifism of hers. Pacifism isn't letting someone walk over you. That's just plain stupidity. I wish Zechs would get off this kick of 'I'm not worthy t' rule because I've killed.' I've got a newsflash for the boy. People die in wars. He was tryin' t' survive. That doesn't make him a monster, it makes him a boy who wanted t' live," Shawn retorted. Talia nodded in agreement. She knew that. But they had to convince Zechs of that. And that would take time.  
  
"So you think there's another war coming, then?" Talia asked softly. Shawn bobbed his head, staring out the window of their car. His eyes were focused on the road, and something else. Something which Talia couldn't see. The past? The future? Who could be sure? She just knew that something deeper than his issues with the policy of the new regime was troubling him.  
  
"I do. No, I don't think there's another war comin.' I know it. I don't know the details. Who, or when. But it's comin,' Talia. And I'm sick of runnin.' Sick of lettin' boys like Zechs Merquise, or the gundam pilots, fight for me. Talia. . .when the next war comes, we have t' be involved in it somehow. Whether it's helpin' Howard rebuild Peacemillion, whatever. We have t' be involved," Shawn replied. He sighed, muttering, "Maybe, if we're involved this time, we can prevent some young boy from havin' his soul ripped out."  
  
Talia nodded in agreement. The war wouldn't happen right away. If there were any remnants of the White Fang, aside from Zechs, they would be licking their wounds. According to her information, Quinze Barton was dead. She scowled. Even as a teenager, she hadn't trusted him. Hadn't liked him. There were times when she hated being right.  
  
So, White Fang was out three leaders. . .Zechs was presumed dead, Quinze was most likely dead, and Dorothy Catalonia returned to Earth to rebuild the Romefellar Foundation. It would take time, perhaps a year, before White Fang returned in some form. A year. That would be time for them to start preparing. She said, "And you want to use the Pax to help, don't you?"  
  
"Yes. What about it, Tal? I know you still remember the fall of the Sank Kingdom, and I know you're not ready t' talk about it. But if there's another war, when there's another war. . ." Shawn began. Talia just smiled at him and nodded once. Shawn returned the smile and said, "Thank you. Now. Let's go pick up our new ship. Well, the paperwork, at least."  
  
Talia laughed and nodded in agreement. They had a celebration planned for that night, celebrating their new ship. They would go back to the space port tonight with a bottle of. . . something. . .and officially christen it the Pax. Peace. An upgrade from the Purgamentum, or garbage. Zechs' idea. The Latin word for trash. She laughed to herself and wondered how Ciara and Zechs were doing. I hope they stay out of trouble, she thought, because if they don't, there's a good chance Zechs' true identity will be revealed. And we absolutely cannot have that!  
  
. . .  
  
"So, you met the Gundam pilots, excluding Heero Yuy," Zechs observed in a low voice as he leaned against the game. His forearms were folding over the warm glass of the arcade game, protecting his ribs. Ciara nodded, for the moment concentrating exclusively on playing the game. Zechs smiled to himself as he watched her. So focused. So intent.  
  
At last, Ciara looked up and answered, "Yeah, I did. I didn't expect them to be so young." Zechs raised an eyebrow. The girl watched the battles, and she didn't realize the pilots were all teenagers? Ciara continued, "I mean, yeah, I knew they were teenagers, but I guess I never really thought about it much. I never paid as much attention to them as I did to you. It was kinda weird, realizing these guys aren't a lot older than I am."  
  
"Only four years," Zechs confirmed solemnly. Ciara slipped another token into the machine for another round. . .the girl wouldn't give up! Her last score, from what Zechs could tell, was respectable. Either she really liked this game, or she was determined to get better with each run. It occurred to him that she would have made a helluva gundam pilot. He shook his head, disgusted with himself. How could he even think about Ciara being involved with a war, in any way? She was just a child! Hadn't enough children been killed?  
  
Ciara continued as the game started up once more, "Quatre Raberba Winner doesn't seem like he's sixteen. . .he looks closer to my age. Like he's twelve or thirteen. And I couldn't believe he was the same pilot who took out those colonies after his dad died. He was so nice! I wasn't expecting that. But then I. . ." She broke off and looked away.  
  
Zechs already knew what she meant to say however, and he said softly, "But you were expecting me to be someone other than who I was, weren't you?" The girl's eyes remained focused on what she was doing, but her head bobbed. Zechs was silent for several moments, staring at the girl, then said, "I wish I could tell you. . .I wish I could make you understand. . ."  
  
"It's okay, Zechs," Ciara interrupted, looking away from the game for a few moments, "Mom told me about that, when we were talking about changing ourselves for someone else. She said that's what you did, when you became Zechs Merquise again, so Queen Relena and the Sank Kingdom wouldn't suffer for what you were doing in space, against Romefeller." Zechs blinked, shocked by this girl's knowledge. She was starting to scare him, as was her mother.  
  
He wasn't out of the woods yet. Ciara cocked her head to one side, studying him intently, and added, "That's why you won't go back to Earth. It's not just cuz you're ashamed of what you did. You're afraid you're gonna try to change yourself again, for your sister or for that lady lieutenant. The one with the funny name. Is she pretty, Zechs?"  
  
Now she was scaring him. Would he try to change himself to make Relena happy, or Noin? No, that was absurd. He never changed himself to suit someone else. He changed himself, knowing that his father wouldn't approve. Ciara was. . .she was learning about the world, and trying to apply the lessons she learned to him. That had to be it.  
  
Then he focused on the other part of the conversation. About Noin. And the jealousy he heard in Ciara's voice. Zechs started to answer, then realized he didn't know what to say. Of course he noticed how pretty Noin was. He may have been driven, but he certainly wasn't blind. On the other hand, he didn't want to hurt Ciara. He was painfully aware that she was terribly infatuated with him.  
  
He didn't need to speak. Ciara said with a resigned sigh, "She's wayyyyyy pretty, and you love her a lot." Zechs closed his mouth with a snap, now feeling completely out of his depth. Ciara looked at him, adding, "It's in your eyes, Zechs. You love her and you miss her. But you don't think you're good enough for her, 'cause of what you did."  
  
"I'm not," Zechs answered hoarsely. Ciara rolled her eyes at him, a gesture that was pure Talia. The brunette might not have given birth to Ciara, but she was the girl's mother in every other way. Zechs continued, "You know, you're not like other girls your age. Other people your age." This time, it was Ciara's turn to look surprised, and Zechs said, "The way you act with your parents."  
  
Ciara frowned and said, "I don't know what you mean." Zechs was sure she didn't, and realized for the first time how stupid he sounded. Ciara grew up with limited exposure to other children. That was why she seemed so adult in some ways, and so innocent in others. Ciara looked back at her game and continued, "You wanted to know about the pilots?"  
  
Zechs knew this was something Ciara learned from her mother. . .change the subject when she was uncomfortable with the current one. Talia employed it every time he asked about her past. After the first few times, Zechs took the hint. Talia's past was evidently as checkered as Shawn's. . .or, if not checkered, then dark. Not necessarily because of something she did. Zechs found it difficult to believe that she ever killed anyone, even out of necessity. But whatever was in the past, Talia wasn't ready to discuss it. Zechs would respect her wishes.  
  
Now, as then, Zechs accepted the change in conversation, saying, "Well, you told me about your thoughts on Quatre Winner. What about the other pilots? Talia told me that Heero Yuy was on earth, but I'm interested in what you thought about the other pilots." Ciara finished her third game, only to find that she ran out of tokens. She grimaced, and Zechs started to fish around in his own pockets to find money they could exchange for more tokens.  
  
Ciara stopped him, putting her hand on his wrist, and said, "I'm tired of that game anyhow. Let's go for a walk." She slipped her hand through his arm, and said, "WELL, I did not like Chang Wufei at all. That's how you say his name, isn't it? Chang Wufei? Dad says that in China, and the Chinese colony, the last name comes first. Anyhow, I didn't like him. Can you believe he called me weak??????"  
  
Zechs struggled against a smile. . .he could believe it very well. Ciara shook her head in disgust, saying, "Hey, just cuz I couldn't fight against five guys doesn't make me weak. Those are bad odds, you know? Mom said I was being smart, not trying to fight those guys on my own. Then she said, when I told her about him calling me 'weak,' she said a lot of men think that. That women are weak. But she'd like to see any of them having to deal with feeling like a helium balloon has expanded inside their bodies."  
  
Zechs almost laughed, but fought the urge. . .the pain wasn't worth it. The truth was, he actually heard Talia saying something about that. He hadn't caught the entire conversation, but he heard her saying, "If Chang Wufei thinks women are weak, I'd like to see him spend a week in a woman's body while she's having her period. See how he deals with the sensations of having a helium balloon expanding inside his body, aching joints, and hormones running wild. Then we'll see who he thinks is weak."  
  
Instead of encouraging Ciara to continue about the young Chinese pilot, for he knew it would only result in Ciara ranting about how dumb boys were, which would in turn spawn Ciara telling him that's why she preferred men, Zechs asked, "And what did you think of Duo Maxwell. . .or, as we used to call him in Oz, 02?"  
  
Ciara caught herself in mid-breath, before she could start ranting again, and instead thought about his question. After a moment, she replied, "You know, at first, I thought he was just a. . .just. . .well, I'm not sure. But I didn't like him real well, when he was just another kid. Just playing. It was like he didn't take anything seriously. And then, when he came to my rescue, I realized I was wrong. He does that deliberately, so people will underestimate him."  
  
There was another reason for it, but Zechs didn't want to bring that up now. He still wasn't feeling stable himself, and he didn't want to look like an idiot by talking about someone else's sanity. Ciara shook her head as they walked and said, "I dunno. Like, he's only four years older than I am, right? But, when he stood up to those bullies, he wasn't a kid at all."  
  
"War changes a person, Ciara," Zechs answered softly, thinking of his own experiences, first as a Special, then as a rebel, then finally his descent into madness after the fall of the Sank Kingdom. He squeezed her hand and said, "The gundam pilots are just boys, in terms of their age. But they were aged and hardened by war."  
  
"By blood-stained memories," Ciara replied. Zechs blinked in confusion, and the girl explained, "Something Dad told me. He was a soldier. He didn't want to tell me, he was afraid I would be ashamed of him. He said that he had a lot of blood-stained memories. I didn't understand at first. How can memories be stained with blood?"  
  
Once more, Zechs started to speak, but he held his tongue. He wanted to hear what Shawn had to say. Ciara went on, her hand tightening around his, "Dad said that when he dreams, when he remembers when he was my age, all he sees is blood. He shakes when he talks about it. And sometimes. . .sometimes he's not really here. He's somewhere else. Wherever he was when he was a soldier."  
  
"How do you know?" Zechs asked very softly. Chills danced along his spine. He wanted to protect this child, wanted to make sure the madness that temporarily inhabited both Shawn and Zechs wouldn't touch her. But it appeared it was too late for that. Maybe it was just as well. He remembered what Talia told him, about people taking responsibility for others. He wanted to teach Earth just how terrible war was. And, Talia said, people had to know how terrible, how wasteful, how miserable war was. If only for a little while, because people always forget.  
  
So which was correct? Did you protect innocents like Ciara, make sure they never had to deal with the bloodstained memories which haunted her parents and Zechs? Or did you tell her the truth? Tell her about people dying in your arms, people who were barely older than she was herself. Zechs didn't have the answer. He thought he had once. But the answer was gone.  
  
Instead, he turned his attention back to the conversation at hand, involving the Gundam pilots, and asked, "And Trowa Barton, what of him?" He was unprepared for the sudden, guilty expression that crossed the girl's face as she looked away. Zechs stopped in the middle of the walkway, and gently veered the girl to one side, toward the little bridge that spanned the man-made creek. He knelt in front of Ciara, ignoring the pain in his ribs, and asked gently, "Ciara?"  
  
"I didn't tell him, Zechs. I didn't. . .I never told him that you were alive. He realized it. He knew, I think, as soon I said that my uncle served on the Libra. That my uncle tried to destroy it, before it reached earth," Ciara mumbled. It took Zechs a moment to understand what she meant. Trowa Barton knew he was still alive. Zechs tried to process the information. Ciara went on softly, "He promised that he wouldn't tell the other pilots. That you had a family now, people who loved you. That you deserve a second chance. Zechs, I'm so sorry." Zechs' head snapped up, and he stared into Ciara's eyes, cupping her heart-shaped face in his hands.  
  
"Ciara, Ciara, Ciara! There is no need for you to apologize. Foolish as it may sound, I'm a little relieved that Trowa Barton knows," Zechs replied, remembering his encounter with the young Gundam pilot while the younger boy was undercover as an agent of Oz. He continued, "And I believe him when he says that he won't tell anyone else."  
  
"Does that mean you won't tell my mom and dad? Mom worries about you a lot, Zechs," Ciara admitted honestly and Zechs just smiled at her. He didn't need to say a word. The tension eased from her thin body, and Ciara sighed. After a moment, she looked at him again, and asked, "Zechs? Do you know any languages other than English and German?"  
  
"Several languages. . .I was in the military, so I did a lot of traveling. I learned a little of several languages. Why do you ask?" Zechs asked.  
  
He rose painfully to his feet, releasing Ciara's shoulders to take her hand once more and they began walking. The young girl answered, her hand curling around his trustingly, "I heard Mom talking to Olga the other day. She wasn't speaking English. Olga said something, and Mom said something which sounded like 'nee-yet' I thought at first it was 'not yet,' but it didn't sound like that. And she sounded really upset."  
  
What the. . .? Zechs again stopped walking and looked at Ciara, asking, "Was it 'nyet,' Ciara? Is that what you heard?" Ciara thought briefly, then bobbed her head. Zechs frowned inwardly, but said casually, "It's a Russian word. Not so surprising, since Olga is Russian." The question is, he thought, why does Talia know Russian? What hasn't she told me yet?  
  
. . .  
  
He had no way of knowing it, but Ciara was wondering the exact same thing. Talia Malloy was the only mother Ciara ever knew, but the twelve year old was starting to see that she really didn't know her mother at all. As far back as she could remember, her mother spoke American English, with a slight trace of an Irish accent. But when she was speaking Russian with Olga. . .  
  
She spoke Russian as smoothly as she spoke English, often slipping between the two languages during the course of her conversation with Olga. Shortly after her mother told Olga 'nyet,' Mom added in a soft voice, "I am not ready, old friend. There are too many questions which require answers, answers which cannot be given yet."  
  
Olga responded in a flood of Russian, and Mom smiled softly, answering in English, "I know that, my dear friend. And I know that you love me. But the young prince of the Sank Kingdom is more like me than either of us could have guessed. He is not ready to be Milliardo Peacecraft, because that child died before he had a chance to live. Zechs Merquise is the name he chose to protect his family and his name, but he is Zechs now."  
  
Olga muttered something then, and Mom replied in Russian, adding in English, "You have taken care of me, Olga. Always. And you have respected my wishes. I can ask for nothing more from a friend. I know there will come a time when Zechs must learn the truth. A time when I have to tell Shawn what happened on the day the Sank Kingdom fell, but I am not ready."  
  
Ciara slipped away, deeply disturbed. She was still disturbed by that conversation. So disturbed, she didn't realize that they were in trouble until Zechs stopped. They weren't far from home, and she was lost in thought after Zechs told her that her mother was speaking Russian. Trying to puzzle things out. Her first clue that not all was well, was Zechs' abrupt stop. Her second was hearing his raspy voice say, "Would you gentlemen like to move? The young lady and I have no wish for trouble."  
  
Ciara looked up, startled out of her reverie, and beheld the boys who attacked her in the arcade. Her small hand curled around Zechs' larger hand tightly, torn between a desire to fight them, and a desire to protect her still-injured companion. The choice was taken out of her hands when the leader laughed, "Oh, I don't think so. You see, we have a little score to settle with this little bitch. And this time, she doesn't have any gundam goons to protect her."  
  
"No," Zechs answered calmly, "but she has me. And I can assure you. I will allow no harm to come to my niece. So please. Step aside and let us pass." Ciara looked at him, shuddering at the coldness that appeared in his bright blue eyes. He was trying. She knew he was trying not to blow his cover. But she also knew that Zechs had his limits. . .and that he didn't deal well with fools.  
  
The leader laughed outright at Zechs' calm, assured manner, mimicking his speech, "Step aside, he says. . .step aside! Who the hell does he think he is, royalty?" As a matter of fact, Ciara thought, that's exactly what he is, you jerk-off! But she kept silent. She learned the importance of keeping her mouth shut in a hostile situation. And she was afraid for Zechs.  
  
They were surrounded. Zechs merely looked at the leader, answering, "It matters little whom I am, or whom I believe myself to be. What matters is, you will stand aside, you will allow my niece and me to pass. . .and you will be polite about it." There was a cool contempt in his voice, and Ciara shuddered. Zechs squeezed her hand, but Ciara was still afraid. She could have taken care of herself if it was one on one. Probably.  
  
But they were five against two. One of whom was recovering from life- threatening injuries. The odds didn't look good at all. Perhaps sensing her fear, Zechs put a gentle arm around her shoulders, and drew her close to his body. Ciara would have put her arms around his waist, but she was afraid of hurting him. How on earth were they gonna get out of this?????  
  
. .  
.  
  
The odds did not look good. And while Zechs was a soldier, he fought in mobile suits, not hand to hand. And not with a twelve year old girl who could easily be used as. . .bait. His own safety was of secondary importance. Zechs' main priority, at the moment, was getting Ciara to safety. There were five bullies. Two potential victims. Even if Zechs attacked, he knew he couldn't take on all five. Even if he could take a few out before getting the crap beaten out of him, it would only take one to. . .hurt Ciara. An image of six year old Alicia Remington flashed before his eyes, and Zechs quietly vowed he would never allow that to happen again.  
  
He had very little options. The Lightning Count did not like being out of options. He did not like being trapped like this. Much less with the life of a twelve year old girl resting in his hands. Strange. He felt more helpless now than he ever had in the war. Except. . .except when the Sank Kingdom fell. But Zechs firmly steered his mind away from that.  
  
"It appears, gentlemen," Zechs said quietly, "that we have a bit of a stalemate. You want my niece. I will not let you have her. True, you could kill me, and then do as you wish. But I really do not believe you want to do that." The boys laughed harshly, but Zechs could tell his cool demeanor was beginning to frighten at least one boy. That could be good or bad. He was told that his eyes could be described as an icy fire. Or a fiery ice. Zechs hadn't understood, but he stared at the frightened boy steadily.  
  
It appeared to work, for the boy said, "Look, she's not the one we want. I say we track down Maxwell and his buddies, and have ourselves a little rumble. They can't be alone, you guys. He would never be this cool if it was just the two of them. C'mon, let's go." There was a distinctive whine in his voice, and Zechs transferred his gaze from that boy to the de facto leader.  
  
The boy didn't speak. Instead, he lunged forward and shoved Zechs. The former pilot, not expecting the move, stumbled backward, and Ciara cried out. He thought at first it was from the shock. Until he realized that the wind was ruffling his bangs. His bangs. . .? The wind? With his free hand, Zechs reached up for his baseball cap. It wasn't there.  
  
The boys were staring at him in shock, and the leader whispered, "You. . .you're Milliardo Peacecraft. Zechs Merquise." His shock quickly gave way to. . .something else. A slow, cruel smile crossed his face and he said mockingly, "I wonder how much the EarthSphere Alliance would give me for your head? To say nothing of the family which sheltered you."  
  
Zechs' blood ran cold. Talia, he thought, Shawn. . .I hope you can forgive me. I should have died, and spared you this. Spared Ciara this. A voice broke into his self-flagellation, and at first Zechs thought he was hearing things. Then he heard the voice again, now saying, "You pull anythin' like that, and you won't live long enough t' collect your reward." Zechs now turned, picking up his baseball cap as he did. There stood both Shawn and Talia. And neither of them looked particularly happy. Ohhhh shit, Zechs Merquise thought.  
  
. . .  
  
It was a done deal. Shawn and Natalia Malloy were now the proud owners of the Pax, a sleek vessel that housed two small shuttles. The deed was placed in Shawn's hands less than an hour earlier, and the pair were now on their way home. First, however, there were a number of necessary items which they needed from the local stores, including a gift for Zechs, who made this possible.  
  
The young man in question would have most likely said that his life was enough of a gift. But both Shawn and Talia wanted a more. . .concrete. . .way of thanking the young pilot. And so, they spent twenty minutes looking among the shops, before Talia found what she was looking for. Knowing how Zechs loved to fly, she searched for models of ancient airplanes, the first war planes, in fact.  
  
She found what she was looking for at the second specialty shop, and said proudly, "Mission accomplished!" Shawn left the aisle where he was browsing and wandered over to her as she examined the plane. His eyebrows raised and Talia said, "Hey, commander or colonel, Zechs is barely out of his teens. And I'm willing to bet that he didn't spend much of his teen years doing models."  
  
"So you're tryin' t' give him back his childhood?" Shawn asked doubtfully. Talia glared at him. Of course not. She was smarter than that. . she knew she could never give him back his childhood, or his teen years. Never give back his parents, or the years he lost with his sister. But she had to do something. And if she gave him a model airplane, a gift she might have given Petyr, she might be able to continue thinking of him as a little brother. Maybe.  
  
Some of her annoyance must have shown in her face, for Shawn said, "I'm sorry, that was unfair of me. And I'm sure you're right. . .I doubt if Zechs had time t' work on models when he was a teenager. He was too busy tryin' t' stay alive, and avenge his parents. That's a wonderful gift t' give him." Now it was Talia's turn to look at him doubtfully. She wondered if it was her imagination, or if she heard a wound tear loose in his heart.  
  
She had no more time to wonder, for she was being steered to the lines to pay for the gift. Talia smiled. . .he was anxious to get back to Zechs and Ciara. They arranged to meet back at the house, since Zechs wanted to walk more. He was walking a little more each day, slowly building up his endurance. The pair paid for the gift and reached the car.  
  
Talia was lost in thought as Shawn drove home, remembering her conversation with Olga. The older woman, bless her, didn't understand why Talia was keeping her identity a secret from Zechs. Well, from Shawn and Ciara as well, though Olga could understand that better. After all, if Talia was to suddenly announce that she was Natasha Galinova, the daughter of a minor Russian noble, that might mess up her family life just a little. Yes, Olga understood that part quite well. Perhaps even a little too well.  
  
But the older Russian woman didn't understand why Talia kept her secret from Zechs. As she told her long time friend, she simply wasn't ready to discuss that part of her life. She had so many secrets. . .when one was shattered, the others would come tumbling down. Talia had no illusions about herself. She knew she wasn't strong enough to deal with the aftermath.  
  
"Oh, shit," Shawn muttered and Talia shook herself. She looked in the direction of her husband's gaze. . .across the green of the park, she could see Zechs and Ciara. They weren't alone, but surrounded by five young men. The five bullies who attacked Ciara before, no doubt. Shawn pulled the car to one side and said, "Let's go, before somethin' nasty happens."  
  
Talia nodded and unbuckled herself, following Shawn across the park. It sat between the residential area and the business district, as it would have been called on earth. There was a road which looped around the park. . .in fact, if one wasn't very careful, he or she could find themselves going around in a circle, around the park. It happened to Shawn and Talia in the past, before they learned their way around the area.  
  
As it happened, they reached their daughter and Zechs too late. . .as Shawn and Talia approached from behind the pair, they saw the leader shove Zechs backward. The baseball cap fell, revealing Zechs' pale gold hair. The husband and wife heard the leader threatening to reveal that their young companion was still alive. Torn between her desire to take on the bullies and her desire to protect her family, Talia never even noticed Shawn's expression until he snarled, "You pull anythin' like that and you won't live long enough t' collect your reward!"  
  
Talia looked up at her husband, startled by the fury in his eyes, then looked back at her daughter and the supposedly dead pilot. Zechs turned as Shawn spoke, and his expression mirrored what Talia was then thinking. Oh shit. Now what do we do? And how do we protect Zechs from this creep?  
  
. .  
.  
  
Now why, Trowa Barton thought as he listened to the exchange, did you go and do something foolish like that???? The young acrobat shook his head in disgust. He saw Ciara Malloy and Zechs Merquise in the same arcade where he and the other gundam pilots met the young girl, and followed them. Why? He couldn't have said. He just knew it was important.  
  
Now he knew why. Trowa's green eyes narrowed as he watched the standoff between the Malloy family and the bullies. And a sly smile crossed his face. As he skirted around the confrontation, to come up behind the bullies, a plan formed in his mind. It would work. . .yes, he thought it might just work. Although, Trowa thought wryly, when Heero finds out about this, he may just threaten to kill me. If only for not telling him sooner that Zechs was still alive.  
  
He moved silently into place behind the bullies, and saw Ciara's blue- gray eyes widen slightly, but he held his finger to his lips in the classical 'shhhh' gesture. The girl maintained her silence as the bully said, "Oh you think so, do you? And just who is going to make sure I don't live long enough to collect my reward, mick? You?" The leader shook his head, laughing.  
  
"Well, you see, while Relena Peacecraft is a pacifist, she may just kill you for bringing her false hope," Trowa said. His mind worked quickly, and caught the eye of Ciara's mother. She was listening intently, and Trowa continued, "It hurts to lose someone you love. To have your hopes boosted by the possibility that your beloved survived a terrible explosion, only to learn that the people who brought you this news. . .have no clue what they're talking about."  
  
"Zechs Merquise is alive, and we're gonna tell whoever will listen," the bully jeered. Trowa's eyes narrowed. He thought a great deal about this, ever since he realized that Zechs was still alive. He looked at all the possible scenarios. . .at the possible consequences to Ciara Malloy and her family. Zechs Merquise prevented Heero from self-destructing. He aided them in destroying the Libra before it could smash into the earth. His methods were wrong, but Trowa understood what he meant to do.  
  
He should have his second chance. And the Malloy family should not be forced to endure what would happen to them when word spread they rescued Zechs Merquise. That left one option. He had to protect Zechs, and the Malloy family. He told the other boy just as firmly, "Zechs Merquise is dead. He died in the Libra. This man is not Zechs Merquise."  
  
He was rewarded with a disbelieving stare from the bully, and a hopeful one from Ciara. He glanced at the girl's mother, who was smiling faintly. She said, "He's quite correct. This young man is not Zechs Merquise, but my younger brother, Zachary Gaston. Trowa became acquainted with Zach while they were working together to destroy the Libra."  
  
"That's right," Trowa said, inclining his head toward the woman, "and I was there when Epyon blew up. There's no way Zechs Merquise survived that blast." The bullies were looking confused now, and Trowa could see the broad grins decorating the faces of the three Malloys. And Zechs. . .Zechs just looked confused. But hopeful.  
  
"Then why did the mick say we wouldn't live long enough to collect our reward? And don't tell me because the purity princess would have our hides, no one believes that. Or even that she gave a damn about her brother. Everyone knows she don't care about him," the leader said. Trowa said Zechs stiffen at the insult to his sister, then his shoulders slumped at the observation regarding Relena's feelings about him. Fortunately, the bully was looking at Trowa.  
  
"Because you were in danger of harming an innocent man. And we kill to protect our own," Ciara's mother answered. She glared at him, adding, "I couldn't stop my brother from joining the White Fang. I couldn't protect him a half dozen times. But I will protect him from the likes of you!" Her small hands curled into fists at her sides.  
  
"There's just one little problem," said one of the other boys. All the attention swung to him, and he pointed out, "He don't look like her brother. Look at 'im! He's got white-blond hair, and her hair is almost black!" Trowa looked at the young woman expectantly, hoping that she was still thinking on her feet. She did pretty well the first time.  
  
She didn't disappoint. Ciara's mother replied, "Because he's my half brother. My father also has blond hair, as does Zach's mother. I have my mother's dark hair. That's why we don't look alike. But rest assured, he is my brother." The bully backed down. . .while the dark-haired woman was small, her stance told Trowa, and anyone else who was observant, that she could inflict some serious damage. Trowa knew how protective older sisters could be. His eyes flickered from the woman, to her husband, then to Ciara. The girl was listening intently, and her eyes gleamed. This looked to get. . .interesting.  
  
"I think you boys should get out of here. My uncle still hasn't recovered from being bounced around when the Libra exploded. His MS was caught in the debris field. So we gotta get him home," Ciara said in a challenging voice. Trowa raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the girl's ploy, then glanced at Zechs to see if he picked up on it.  
  
Even if he hadn't, the girl's mother had, and she stepped to his side, putting her arm around his waist. Zechs went white and his knees buckled as he gasped. Ciara's father took his other side and began helping him to the car. Trowa walked through a space left by the bullies and joined Ciara. He put his hand on her shoulder, saying, "Just remember. . .things aren't always what they appear." Then he gently steered Ciara toward her parents and Zechs. 


	2. Chapter Two

Blood-Part Two  
  
"Sorry about that, Z," Talia apologized as she and Shawn guided Zechs back to the car, followed by Ciara and Trowa, "but Ciara gave me an idea. I hope I didn't hurt you too badly?" Zechs managed a weak grin and shook his head. Talia continued, relaxing, "Good. I'm glad to hear that. I pick up your baseball cap when we circled the wagons, so to speak."  
  
"Yah," Shawn said quietly as they reached the car, "and we need t' come up wi' a plan of action. Our little ploy back there worked this time, but there's no guarantee it'll work a second time. We can discuss that at the house. Zechs, does Trowa Barton know what you look like?" Zechs bobbed his head, cringing at the pain that still throbbed in his side.  
  
"Then why did he help us out?" Talia questioned, frowning. She gently eased Zechs into the car, glancing over her shoulder. Past her hip, Zechs could see Ciara approaching with the dark-haired gundam pilot. Talia continued, "Not that I'm complaining, of course, but I don't understand." Zechs didn't understand, either. Why would Trowa Barton try to protect him?  
  
"Is everyone all right?" the gundam pilot asked as Ciara slipped from his side to stand with Talia. She nodded, and Trowa looked at Zechs, adding, "Not exactly the way I anticipated meeting you again, but things seldom turn out as you plan." Zechs shrugged wearily, then cringed. Talia put her hand on his shoulder, and Trowa continued, "We bought you some time, but I don't think they'll stay quiet for long. How much longer will you be here?"  
  
"We'll be leavin' in a few days. We've done what we came t' do," Shawn replied. He paused, then asked, "Not that I'm not grateful, but why? Why didn't you blow his cover back there?" He asked the question which rattled around in Talia's mind for the last few minutes, and the young woman was slightly shaken to see the gundam pilot smiling faintly.  
  
"You weren't able to completely destroy the Libra, Zechs, but you made the effort. You didn't continue the battle after Heero self- detonated, you rebuilt his gundam for the rematch. You were never our enemy. I understand what you were trying to do. And while you have much to atone for, you can't do that if you're dead. . .or if you're stuck in some prison. But that's only part of it," Trowa answered, addressing Zechs first.  
  
He looked at the Malloy family and continued, "The other part is, you don't deserve what would happen to you, if people realized you brought Zechs Merquise back from the dead. Your life would never be the same, and whether you were praised as saints or reviled as devils for taking care of him, you would never have another moment of peace, as long as you lived. Enough people have been hurt. It should end here."  
  
Talia looked at Shawn, who was staring at Trowa. Seeing a younger version of himself? God, she hoped not. Trowa was unnervingly. . .old. . .for a young boy of sixteen. She hated to think that anyone was that cool and composed as a teenager. She had only to think of Zechs, and she shuddered again. Shawn was right. They had to stop the insanity, so no more children lost pieces of themselves in the war. They had to make a stand the next time.  
  
Trowa Barton smiled then, and said, "I should get back to my apartment. It was good to see you again, Zechs. Take care of yourself. And forgive yourself. You have to do that, before you can truly start to atone. Otherwise, you get lost in the self-loathing, and you never accomplish anything." From the corner of her eye, Talia saw Zechs bob his head numbly, and Trowa turned his attention to her.  
  
Talia reached out her hand, to shake his, but Trowa did something unexpected. He took her hand. . .and raised it to his lips, gently kissing the back of her hand. Talia found herself blushing, and Trowa said, "If ever we are in battle, I hope we fight alongside each other." He bowed to her, nodded to Shawn, and ruffled Ciara's hair. Then he quietly walked away.  
  
. .  
.  
  
"You should have told me he was still alive," a familiar voice said as Trowa re-entered his apartment. The young pilot turned to face his guest as the other boy emerged from the bathroom. Heero Yuy looked at him accusingly and repeated, "You should have told me Zechs was still alive, before I went down to earth." Trowa shrugged out of his jacket.  
  
"I didn't know he was still alive. I just found out myself. You were at the arcade?" he asked. Heero nodded reluctantly, as Trowa sat down on the sofa. The pilot of Heavyarms continued, "Then you probably saw what happened after they left the arcade, Zechs and the girl." Heero's brows drew together, and Trowa explained, "They ran into the same bullies that Quatre and Duo told you about."  
  
"The ones who attacked the girl when you first met her. So what happened?" Heero asked. Trowa motioned him to sit down, which he did, taking the chair opposite the sofa where Trowa now sat. Once Heero was seated, Trowa explained the confrontation with the bullies, as well as his intervention. He was unprepared for the black rage that flashed in Heero's eyes.  
  
However, the other boy said calmly, "Well, whatever caused you to follow them, I'm grateful for it." Trowa nodded. So was he. He was grateful for Ciara's sake, and for Zechs.' And for the sake of the two adults. Shawn Malloy could have gotten himself killed. Heero said hesitantly, "I. . . While I was on earth, I went to the stone with Zechs' name on it. I. . .do you remember after I self-detonated? And you took me back to the circus to recover? Our conversation about following my emotions?"  
  
Trowa bobbed his head, not even trying to push the bang from his eyes. Heero went on, "Part of living by emotions, about following my feelings. . .talking comes into that. Would you understand, Trowa, if I told you I was angry with Zechs for taking my place? Would you understand how I felt when he. . .when I thought he was dead?" Trowa nodded. Yes, he would.  
  
Heero continued, shaking his head, "You know, I thought all along that he was my enemy, that I had to kill him. I was wrong. And I didn't realize how wrong I was until the end. I didn't even realize what I was doing, consciously realize what I was doing, until he stopped me from self- destructing. I think, somewhere deep inside. . .I was trying to save him, Trowa. I was trying to save him from himself."  
  
Trowa nodded in understanding. Yes. He understood. God, how he understood. Heero rubbed his hands against his jeans and continued, "And then today, when I saw he was alive. . .injured, still healing. . .but alive. I'm not even sure how I felt, Trowa. I was angry with him, for letting everyone believe he was dead. I was relieved that he was alive. And I was angry with myself, for not believing he might have survived that explosion."  
  
"After all the times you've tried to kill yourself," Trowa pointed out dryly, "it never occurred to you that he might have as many lives as you do?" Heero shook his head with a rueful smile, and Trowa continued, "I never had a. . .an opposite, the way you did. But I didn't step in just to save Zechs. I wanted to protect the family who has been taking care of him."  
  
Heero nodded, murmuring, "Yes, you mentioned that. What are they like? Tell me about the people who rescued him." Trowa sat back, reflecting about what he should say. How exactly did he explain the impressions, the senses, he received from the Malloy family in such a short amount of time? The. . .yearning. . .he saw in Heero's eyes pushed him forward, even if the words made no sense.  
  
. . .  
  
The ride home was silent. Ciara sat in the backseat with Zechs, holding his hand. She was still trembling, but she wasn't afraid for herself. Despite the intervention of Trowa Barton, she had a terrible feeling this wasn't over yet. She squeezed her companion's hand again. He was so brave! And Ciara was so weak, not doing anything to help him.  
  
At last, they reached their house and Ciara gently helped Zechs out of the backseat. Her mother said softly, "Kee-kee, take him to his room. I think he needs to lie down for a while." Ciara's head jerked up. . .Mom hadn't called her by her old nickname in years. It was her first clue that her mother was as shaken by the events of the last few hours as she was.  
  
"Okay, Mom," she said in a tiny voice and led Zechs into his room, easing him onto the bed. He cringed, a spasm of pain contorting his face as she carefully pushed him back against the bed. Ciara winced as well, but unlaced his boots and placed them by his bed. She said softly, "I'm sorry, Zechs. I should have done more to help you."  
  
"No, Ciara," Zechs answered wearily, "you did the right thing. You kept your head and played along with the charade. If anyone's at fault, it's me. I placed you and your family in danger. I know, your parents made the choice to rescue me. But I could have left you weeks ago, I'm strong enough to pilot a shuttle. I should have left and let you get on with your lives."  
  
"Gone where? Done what? For the love of God, Zechs, you're still healin' from the explosion. You bloody well came close t' dyin' or had you forgotten that?" Ciara's father asked from the doorway. Ciara looked from her father to Zechs, who closed his eyes. He looked so tired. Ciara's father shook his head and said softly, "There will be no more talk of you leavin' while you're still hurt so badly, is that understood? You're still weak from your injuries."  
  
Zechs nodded, his eyes closed, and Ciara's father left the room. Ciara shifted her weight to the chair beside Zechs' bed, and Zechs opened his eyes. He frowned and Ciara answered in a challenging voice, "I'm staying with you. Mom did it all the time on the shuttle, now it's my turn. And you can't talk me out of it!" Zechs just smiled faintly, then closed his eyes again. Ciara watched him for a few moments, then turned her eyes to the window. The sun was just starting to set.  
  
It's so beautiful, she thought, so very beautiful. She was always so excited when she came to L2. It gave her a chance to see things that she never saw from outer space. And Ciara silently hoped that someday, maybe sooner than she expected, she would finally see Earth. She knew all three of her parents were born there. . .but what was it really like?  
  
She turned to ask Zechs, but discovered him staring in silence at the setting sun. Unshed tears sparkled in his blue eyes, and he whispered something she didn't understand. It wasn't just that she couldn't hear him, but what little she did hear sounded like it was in a different language. The only language she knew was English, although her father taught her some Irish.  
  
Instead of asking Zechs about Earth, she instead requested, "Zechs, can you teach me how to say things in other languages?" He looked at her, his attention drawn away from the sunset, and, evidently, whatever he was thinking. A smile crossed his face and he held out his hand to her. Grinning, Ciara took it. She didn't know what she would learn, but at least it would be something interesting!  
  
. .  
.  
  
"He's sayin' he should have left us weeks ago. Is the boy out of his bloody mind? Where will he go? He says that he won't be selfish and return t' his sister and that young girl, what's her name, the one he kept callin' for in his sleep?" Shawn grumbled, entering the study, as Talia quietly filed the paperwork in a cabinet, along with their other important papers. Or rather, copies of their important papers, such as the deed to the ship and her official adoption of Ciara as her daughter. She pushed a lock of dark hair back from her eyes and turned to face him.  
  
"Noin. Lucrezia Noin. And right now, he's scared, Shawn. You remember what it's like to be that scared. He's afraid that he's brought us to a bad place. Be patient with him," Talia answered softly. She could barely control her trembling. Zechs. Oh God. They came so close to losing everything they worked for during the last few months. Damn those brats!  
  
She walked back into the kitchen and carefully removed the model kit from the shopping bag. She hastily put the bag in the very back seat, before Zechs or Ciara could see it, and question what it was. She just hoped that it wasn't damaged in the process. Talia breathed a sigh of relief. It was intact. Shawn sat down beside her, and said, "I'm tryin' t' be patient wi' him, lass. Really, I am."  
  
"I remember after the Sank Kingdom fell. I would go home to Spain. No, I'm not Spanish. But my best friend was. And the manor where I grew up wasn't home any more. In the three weeks I was in the Sank Kingdom before the Alliance attacked, it became my home. That was taken from me. My family was taken from me. All I had left was Beatriz and her family. And I was so afraid that my presence would endanger them. Because I knew the truth about the Sank Kingdom," Talia replied.  
  
"You were just a girl at the time, Talia," Shawn said softly. Talia nodded. Yes. Yes, she was just sixteen. And that made it even more frightening to her. She lost everything that ever mattered to her. Everything that defined Natasha Galinova. Perhaps, even in those early months with the Escalante family, Natalia Gaston was born. She didn't know.  
  
"I know. I wasn't entirely sane at the time, you see. But like Zechs, I feared for the people who saved my life. It took me a long time to accept that they did so, of their own free will. That they made the choice, knowing full well that it might cost them their very lives. It did cost Don Escalante his life. Turning against the Romefellar Foundation. He was assassinated. I was only four years younger than Zechs is now, Shawn. We must be patient," Talia replied.  
  
Shawn asked softly, "There's a lot more I don't know about you, isn't there? Why have you never told me? There's more to this than just your memories. I know they're painful. . .I lived through a war, and war nearly cost me m' soul. But it's different wi' you. It's. . .you didn't lose your soul, but you lost a part of yourself the day the Sank Kingdom fell."  
  
"I can't talk about it, Shawn. It isn't that I don't want to, I just can't. All right, yes, I don't want to either. But there's more to it than that. Every time I get ready. . .every time I think I'm ready, I don't. . .my throat closes over. And I'm not even sure where to begin. There really is no beginning, unless you count Heero Yuy's assassination. The original Heero Yuy, I mean," Talia replied with a sigh. And really, she didn't know if she could start there, either.  
  
"That was a long time ago," Shawn observed and Talia nodded, sighing once more. Yes. Nearly twenty-one years ago. She remembered hearing about it when she was a small girl. It was the first time she saw her father so angry. Father. Talia's blood ran cold, and she rubbed her palms over her forearms, trying to warm up. Did he still hate her? Talia shook herself. What if he did? What difference did it make? She made her own life here, among the stars.  
  
The phone rang, startling them both, but it was Talia who reached for the phone. She answered in English, but her mind switched automatically to Russian as soon as she heard Olga's sobbing voice on the other end of the line. It was a duality she learned many years earlier, to cope with her divided identity. She listened in Russian, but spoke in English, telling her friend, "I'll be over in about an hour. Have faith, dear friend."  
  
"What happened?" Shawn asked in concern as Talia hung up the phone. She sighed, turning back to face him, and he continued, "I know that was Olga. . .you don't call anyone else 'old friend.' What's wrong? And don't ask what makes me think anythin' is wrong, I know your facial expressions almost as well as I know Ciara's. What's happened?"  
  
"Her daughter was hurt in a shuttle accident. Her granddaughter is staying with her while Katya is in the hospital, and Olga's shaken. Katya's her youngest, after all, her baby. She needs me. Will you, Zechs, and Ciara be all right? I'm not sure how long Olga. . .well, how long I'll be," Talia replied. Shawn flashed her a grin and Talia sighed, "That's what I thought. All right, just to be on the safe side, I'll kiss Ciara good night now, so I don't wake her when I get back."  
  
Talia knew Olga. . .knew the odds were better than even that she wouldn't return home until dawn the following morning. Olga tended to bottle up her emotions during a crisis, especially if her grandchildren needed her. And then, once the children were safely asleep, or back in the arms of their parents, Olga fell apart. It wouldn't surprise Talia at all if Olga spent the night weeping.  
  
Katya wasn't just her baby, she was her miracle baby. She wasn't supposed have survived her own birth, she wasn't supposed to have survived to see five, and she most certainly wasn't supposed to marry and have children. She beat all the odds. . .and now, the possibility that she did so, only to die in a shuttle accident at the age of twenty-four? No. . .no, that just didn't seem right. Not to Olga, and not to Talia, either.  
  
"Be careful. . .I wasn't thinkin' real clearly earlier. I don't want you t' suffer for my stupidity," Shawn advised. Talia flashed him a grin of her own and put the model away for safekeeping, at least until she could wrap it properly. Then she went in search of her daughter and Zechs. She actually had a pretty good idea where Ciara was. . .five would get her ten, Ciara was still with Zechs.  
  
. .  
.  
  
Evan didn't take humiliation well. He didn't take it well at all. He was humiliated once, by the gundam pilots. That was bad enough, since they were three years younger than he was. But then, that damn mick and the others came along, just when Evan finally had some leverage. No matter what the little brat's mother said, Evan knew Milliardo Peacecraft when he saw him.  
  
He let the gundam pilot and the family think they won. At least for now. But he followed the family home, and watched in silence as the mother left the house. He briefly considered having some fun with her. . .it shouldn't be too hard, she wasn't that big. No real problem there. But after a moment, Evan shook his head. Nah, she wasn't that important. Milliardo Peacecraft, Zechs Merquise. . . Now he was important. Evan wondered how much Relena Peacecraft would pay him if he brought evidence of her brother's death to him.  
  
He smiled again. He never believed the purity princess's claims of total pacifism. After all, only weaklings and fools believed there could ever be any kind of peace. Evan learned that the hard way. Once he was weak, like Relena Peacecraft. He was stronger now. And he would prove it by killing her brother. But not now. He was patient. He could wait.  
  
. .  
.  
  
It was quiet in the house after Talia left. Shawn tried to read for the first few hours, but his focus wasn't on the book in his hands. With a sigh, he set the book aside and rose to his feet, pulling the shades. It was a protective gesture, a way of shutting out the world. It did no good, of course. But it gave the illusion of protection, and sometimes, that was all a person had.  
  
Ciara went to her room shortly after Talia's departure. She was sleeping on her side, a tiny frown gracing her forehead. She looked like Elene in that moment, taking Shawn's breath away. Oh God, Elene. The Irishman blinked back tears, and awkwardly tucked the covers around his daughter. Elene. Talia. Ciara. Grania. He was still reeling from his nightmare. He had lost Elene and Grania. Could he bear to lose Ciara and Talia?  
  
He kissed Ciara's forehead, then left her room. He went next to Zechs' room. The young man was sleeping. Not particularly peacefully. Dreaming of Khushrenada's death again, no doubt. Maybe of being discovered by the rest of the gundam pilots. Trowa Barton said he would keep the secret. For reasons which Shawn didn't fully understand, he trusted the boy.  
  
But rationality rarely entered into dreams, much less nightmares. He came to care deeply for this boy over the last few months. He was the youngest out of his family. . .and perhaps, in addition to seeing a younger version of himself in Zechs Merquise, he also saw the boy as a little brother. Shawn gently pulled the quilt that his mother made up around Zechs' shoulders, and the young man whimpered in his sleep, whimpered another name. Relena.  
  
Rage coiled in Shawn's gut when he heard the girl's name. He would never say so, but he hated that little brat. Hated her for her arrogance. He didn't know the story behind the original fall of the Sank Kingdom, but he considered her a traitor to those who fought and died during the second fall. She negated their sacrifices by giving in to Romefellar. Damn her. Damn her for her betrayal. . .and damn her for judging soldiers like himself.  
  
Shawn snarled under his breath and Zechs murmured something. Guiltily, the older man straightened up. No, he would take this elsewhere. He didn't want to awaken Zechs. In the morning, he and Talia would plan out their next move. . .it was time for them to leave L2. He knew it was just a time before that brat returned, maybe with reinforcements.  
  
And Shawn had other things on his mind. The Pax, and the small shuttles that they bought, with help from Zechs. Shawn was a soldier, not a gundam pilot. He didn't have a gundam at his disposal. But he did have the Pax. And his very soul was telling him that another war would come. There would always be predators. The key was making sure that there was some protection from predators.  
  
Shawn heard, in the last few days, of a new organization that was being created on Earth. The Preventers, they were called. Created by the former Colonel Une of the Oz organization, the stated purpose was to prevent further wars from breaking out. Shawn liked that idea. And while he knew neither his wife, nor Zechs, was ready to return to Earth, Shawn decided that they would become unofficial members of the Preventers.  
  
And maybe in time, once Talia was ready to deal with her past, they would return to Earth, and join the Preventers in fact. He smiled, returning to the living room. He picked up his book and locked the door. It was time for him to go to bed. They had a lot of work ahead of them. He turned out the lights, and headed for his own bedroom. Yes. . .a lot of work.  
  
. . .  
  
"Hn," Heero Yuy murmured as Trowa Barton finished his story. Accustomed to the other young man's noncommittal remarks, the pilot of 03 sat back and regarded his friend. After a few moments, Heero said, "Do you think they'll try again? I mean, the bullies. It sounds to me like they want a rematch. And they might have only bought the story about Zechs being Talia's younger brother because the odds shifted."  
  
"I thought of that as well. You think they might go after Zechs again, now that they've seen his face?" Trowa asked and Heero nodded, his eyes narrowing. It was a strange twist of fate. . .that they were now seeking to protect a man who was once their enemy. Trowa thought back to his own argument with Lucrezia Noin in Antarctica, regarding the battle between the two pilots.  
  
He still believed it was foolish. But he knew now that Heero was right to trust Zechs. The pilot of 01 said, "Yes, I do. Trowa, I'll hack into the records, find out where the Malloys live." Trowa nodded. He had ideas of his own about protecting the family. And Ciara. There was a curious tightness in his chest as he thought of the young girl. She was hardly more than a baby, not even thirteen years old yet. She was an innocent. Trowa wanted her to stay that way.  
  
Too many children grew up too fast. The gundam pilots, the soldiers on both sides of the battle. Oz and the colonies, White Fang. Children who fought and died, whether in body or in soul. Trowa Barton swore to himself that Ciara would not suffer the same fate. She would grow up strong and whole, without her heart shattered by the need to kill, in order to survive, in order to protect those she loved. He looked at Heero and said, "Then let's get to work."  
  
. . .  
  
He waited outside the house, among the bushes. When he stopped to think about it, it was hysterically funny. Like one of those old movies he watched when he was a kid. Back before the Alliance stomped on his family. Back before his parents were killed, back. . .back before he got strong. Before he realized what life was really like.  
  
Evan turned his attention back to the house. One by one, the lights in the house died out. He rose to his feet, smirking to himself. Yes, it was time to make his move. He knew every means of entering a house, both legally and illegally. Didn't make much of a difference to him. He broke into houses before, often to keep warm. The climate inside the colonies was supposed to remain stable. It didn't always work that way.  
  
He thought that the Malloy house wouldn't provide him with much of a challenge. But it seemed they weren't as soft as he supposed, and were more paranoid than most of their more complacent neighbors. Still, Evan was patient and he managed to open the door with a minimal amount of noise.  
  
He slipped inside the house, idly wondering why there seemed to be a light on the wood. Then he chuckled. It was just the moonlight filtering through the curtains. No big deal. Evan proceeded through the house. Originally, he wanted the little blonde bitch, the kid, for helping those Gundam goons make trouble for him and his boys.  
  
But his focus changed. He would deal with Milliardo Peacecraft, and show his whining sister exactly what a strong ruler did. You killed the traitors, wiped out any form of resistance. And no matter how you looked at it, Peacecraft was a traitor. The way Evan figured it, he was doing both the earth and the colonies a favor. He grinned to himself, passing the little bitch's bedroom. Now, all he had to do was figure out how he was gonna kill the bastard.  
  
. . .  
  
"I have it," Heero murmured. Yes, here it was. Shawn and Natalia Malloy. It wasn't difficult for him at all, hacking into the L2 database. He noticed that Shawn Malloy's name was highlighted in blue, and he double clicked on the man's name. A new page of information came up, and Heero frowned. It was barely noticeable, except to someone who knew him.  
  
"Shawn Malloy was a soldier when he was our age, Trowa. According to this, his older sister was murdered more than twenty years ago, when he was roughly the same age as his daughter. He joined up with the rebels as a result and spent the next several years fighting," Heero observed. Trowa left his own laptop to see the new information, and Heero continued, "He left Ireland fifteen years ago, and came to outer space with a young American girl named Elene Winthrop. Apparently, he married her here, for their daughter Ciara was born on L2."  
  
He continued reading, and Trowa said, "Natalia Gaston came here in AC 183. Heero, that was the year AFTER the collapse of the Sank Kingdom. Let me see if I can find any information about her." Heero nodded and returned his attention to the page concerning Shawn Malloy. Elene Winthrop Malloy died more than ten years earlier, and shortly thereafter, Shawn Malloy married the teenaged Natalia Gaston, who was traveling with him and his wife. Heero took no notice of the time that elapsed between Elene's death and Shawn's remarriage. His daughter needed a mother. It was as simple as that.  
  
Then something flashing at the bottom of the screen caught his attention. Frowning, Heero double-clicked on the icon. He said, "The Malloy house has been compromised. We have to go, Trowa." Trowa's head snapped up and he looked around. But he nodded, and shut down his own laptop. Heero made a mental note of the Malloy residence, where it was located, since the government of L2 kindly provided a set of directions. In case it was ever necessary to speak with the Malloys for some reason, of course.  
  
Then he and Trowa left Trowa's apartment. As they headed downstairs together, Heero checked his gun. He found himself remembering his duel with Zechs aboard the Libra. "Why didn't you kill me?" "Relena would be sad." But that wasn't why he was doing this now. Something else, something other than Relena was pushing him forward. . .pushing him to protect his former enemy.  
  
. .  
.  
  
Ciara was dreaming of her mother again. Not the woman who took care of her ever since she could remember, but the mother who gave birth to her. She saw pictures of her mother, a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and a brilliant smile. Ciara was extremely young when she died. . .so there was no way she could remember her. And yet. . .she dreamed of her. The dreams were never ones she could remember after she awoke. Which was truly ironic, since it was the dream that awoke her that night. Her mother told her to wake up, and she had. Ciara sat up in bed, blinking. Now that was silly.  
  
Still, as she grew more awake, she also grew more aware that she desperately needed to use the toilet. The girl shuffled out of her bed, then headed to the bathroom. She quickly relieved her bladder of its distress, then washed her hands and flushed the toilet. As she dried her hands, she. . .felt something. Sometimes, in the still of the night, she could feel her father's footsteps. The slight cracking of the floor under his weight.  
  
But this didn't feel like her father. Or her mother. Or Zechs. She knew it wasn't her. Well, maybe it was Zechs. She frowned and turned off the light. Just to be safe, she would check on him. She shuffled down the hall toward Zechs' room, passing her father's room as she did. Her father's room. Ciara had some friends in email, and they would refer to their parents' room. Ciara was rather astonished to find out that some parents actually shared a room. As she grew up, there was her mother's room and her father's.  
  
She shook her head. One day, she would ask her mother about it. Her father got weird on her when she asked strange questions. Like he didn't know what to make of her. Mom never did that. If Ciara was a strange girl, then evidently, so had the woman who raised her. That provided her with some comfort to the preteen, who was starting to feel like she was on shaky ground as time progressed.  
  
Zechs' door was open. That was strange. Ciara knew Zechs usually kept his door shut, because of his nightmares. She peered inside his room, and her breath caught in her throat. Zechs wasn't alone. At first, she thought it was her father, or maybe her mother returned home earlier than she anticipated. Until she saw the figure place something over where Zechs' face should have been. Her mother would never do that. . .nor would her father.  
  
The pillow. . .yes, it was a pillow covering Zechs' face. Zechs couldn't breathe because of the pillow. This. . .this. . .person meant to kill Zechs. She had to stop him! Ciara started to run from the room, until she heard the figure behind her snarl, "Now, none of that, Merquise. . . you don't want the rest of the family to die, do you? Enough people have died because of you, though. . .what's two or three more?" Ciara froze in her tracks. He would kill Daddy. She couldn't let that happen. But she couldn't let him kill Zechs, either. Zechs.  
  
Then the figure turned, ever so slightly, in the direction of the doorway. Where Ciara now stood, silhouetted against the light. The girl moved quickly to one side, then cursed her stupidity. In her haste to avoid discovery, she knocked over the lamp that rested on a table beside the door. The figure froze, and snarled, "Who's there?" Now the moonlight was streaming into the room, casting some light on the features of Zechs' attacker. Ciara's blood ran cold. The bully. The one who attacked her in the arcade, and who attacked them that morning.  
  
Ciara backed away, but the bully grabbed her shoulder. He laughed softly, murmuring, "Oh, this is a happy surprise. The little bitch comes to the murderer's aid. Guess that means I'll have to kill you both. But him first." He pushed Ciara into the wall and strode back to the bed. Kill them both. Ciara couldn't let him kill Zechs. He picked up the pillow and pressed it over Zechs' face again. The struggles ceased. . .was he unconscious or dead?  
  
No. Not after everything, it couldn't end like this. He would kill Zechs, then he would kill Ciara, and then he would kill Daddy. The girl couldn't let him do that. She had to stop him. But how? He was bigger and stronger. She had to find a way, though, she couldn't let Zechs down. She struggled to her feet, one bare foot touching something cold. And porcelain. Glass. The lamp.  
  
Ciara picked up the porcelain lamp and approached the bully, then smashed it over his head. He wheeled around, enraged, and backhanded her. Ciara skidded backward, her small hand closing on. . .something. Something that cut deeply into her hand, but by now, she was focused only on staying alive. He came after her again, pinning her to the ground, his breath hot in her face.  
  
She felt something against her thigh. Something hard. Like he had a rod in his pocket. She didn't know what it meant, and that unknown made her even more terrified. She kicked out at him, and he slapped her again. Ciara's cheek burned from the impact, but rather than frightening her, it served to make her angry. The threshold between fear and anger was crossed. There was no going back.  
  
It was a battle of survival. From her position on the floor, Ciara could make out Zechs' form. . .he wasn't moving. She snarled with rage, kicking at her attacker yet again, and took savage pleasure in hearing his groan. He grabbed her long hair, pulling her head back, but Ciara refused to give up. She fought like a wild animal which had been caged for entirely too long. She kicked him wherever she could, barely feeling the blows to her face. It was as if Ciara no longer existed. Only this girl- animal who wanted to hurt something else. Someone else, someone who hurt her. . .who hurt someone she loved.  
  
Ciara was now operating solely on instinct. She swung her fist at him, fighting desperately to stay alive. This. . .this. . .this bully would kill her. And once he killed her, he would kill Zechs, and then Daddy. Mom would be alone. Ciara's rage built and she screamed until her voice was raw. She struck her assailant repeatedly, taking grim pleasure in the strange noises of pain coming from him. Take that, and that, and that!  
  
She hadn't realized that swinging her hand like that could make it all sweaty, but her skin was wet. She was so intent on her primal rage, she never felt the telltale tremors of the floor, the footsteps of another. Then the lights came on, and Ciara's world turned first white from the brilliant light. Then it was red. . .before turning dark, as her father cried out her name and enfolded her in his arms.  
  
. . .  
  
"Why did you boys come here?"  
  
Heero Yuy looked up at the sound of the voice. For once, he wasn't wearing his customary tank top and spandex shorts, choosing instead to wear a jacket and jeans. He was glad now he had. The boy turned to face the speaker, a tall, dark-haired man in his mid-thirties, and replied, "We were hacking into the government records, when we discovered that your home was compromised."  
  
"That didn't answer m' question," Shawn Malloy answered as he closed the door to his daughter's room behind him. He walked toward Heero, who looked away and back into the room where Zechs Merquise slept. The room into which he and Trowa Barton burst nearly two hours earlier. Heero smiled briefly to himself, thinking of Duo's reaction. He would have grumbled about going through the window, when they should have gone through the door.  
  
It made sense to both of them to approach the house from the back, in order to surprise the intruder. Both boys was certain the intruder was the leader of the bullies. They were right. They saw the older boy as they peered into the house. Trowa softly swore when he saw the figure standing over. . .someone. Neither knew who it was. But it was obvious that whoever lay in the bed was in danger. Heero looked around, then backed away from the window. To a boy who should have died countless times, taking a running leap and crashing through a window was a rather small thing. He was a Gundam pilot, after all.  
  
However, in the process of finding a distance where he could build up sufficient speed, a third factor entered into the equation. By the time Trowa and Heero crashed through the window, the leader of the gang was dead, his throat repeatedly slashed, and his killer lay unconscious in her father's arms. His killer was twelve year old Ciara Malloy, and she fainted.  
  
Now, nearly three hours later, the little girl was washed and cleaned. Trowa was sitting with her. She was just a child, but Heero shook his head. There were no children. Not any more. She was the same age he was when he killed a little girl and a puppy. Heero's heart hurt for the girl. She was an innocent. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wouldn't have ended like this, if he hadn't failed. Mission failed.  
  
Part of it, at least. Zechs was still alive. He was asleep at the time of the attack, more than likely. Woken up briefly, only to lose consciousness when the pillow was placed over his face. There was one helluva struggle. Heero was a soldier, he could see what happened. The gang leader came to this house to kill Zechs, but Ciara interfered. . .and took his life instead.  
  
"You didn't answer my question," Shawn Malloy repeated. Heero looked away from his former nemesis, and back at the older man, who said again, "Why did you come here t'night? Don't think I'm not grateful. . .I am, that you tried t' help. I just don't understand why. Trowa, I understand, since he helped m' daughter and Zechs this afternoon. But you. . ."  
  
Relena would be sad. No, that wasn't the reason. Not the whole reason. Heero said softly, "The same reason as Trowa. Zechs wouldn't let me self-destruct. Wouldn't let me die. Time after time, he saved my life. He could have killed me, after I self-destructed. Instead, he told Trowa to get me to safety. When Oz found us at Antarctica, he fought them off by himself, allowing us all to get to safety. When I tried to self- destruct, to destroy the Libra, Zechs dealt with it himself." He looked up at the older man, trying desperately. . .to do what?  
  
"Gratitude, then," Shawn Malloy stated, joining him in the doorway. Heero shook his head. No. Not gratitude. Shawn looked over Heero's shoulder at Zechs, and said softly, "He'll sleep for now. I have t' figure out what t' do about that window. What t' do about that." He was referred to the dead body currently lying in the bathroom of the Malloy house.  
  
Heero looked at him and stated, "You won't tell your wife. Or Zechs." Shawn shook his head, still staring at Zechs, and Heero asked, "Why not?" Shawn didn't answer. Heero was raised and trained to be the Perfect Soldier. He wasn't supposed to feel emotion. He wasn't supposed to become human. That would limit his effectiveness. And yet. . .he had.  
  
He felt things. And he could see emotions in the eyes of others. There was pain in Shawn Malloy's eyes. Pain. . .grief. . .guilt. Fury. The older man replied, "Because. . .because I've hidden, safe in space, for the last fifteen years, while children have fought m' battles for me. You. The other four Gundam pilots. Zechs. It's m' turn t' protect him. I'm through hidin,' through. . .bein' a coward. No more. I protect m' wife, and I protect Zechs."  
  
"You can also protect Ciara," Trowa said, leaving the girl's room. Heero and Shawn both turned to him, and the pilot of zero three continued, "It won't be hard to convince her it was a bad dream. But we have to act quickly." Heero stared at his friend. What was Trowa saying? The other boy continued urgently, "Heero, we're warriors. . .we're soldiers. She's a child. An innocent. An innocent who was forced to kill, in order to survive. In order to protect others."  
  
Now Heero understood. Shawn, however, did not. He asked, "What are you boys plannin' t' do?" Heero cast one last look into the room where Zechs slept. The remains of a broken lamp lay on the floor. A shard of that lamp was clutched in the girl's hand, even as she lay in her father's arms. It took little to figure out what happened. And while it was obviously justifiable, Heero suspected that the twelve year old would be crushed with guilt. He was a bully and a murderer. . .but he was also a human being.  
  
"The memory will resurface in time," Heero warned his friend. Trowa nodded. They both had distant memories that were slowly being pushed to the surface. But especially Heero, once the Perfect Soldier. The Perfect Weapon. Heero continued, seeing that Trowa had already thought about this, "What do you suggest? What exactly did you have in mind?"  
  
"The first thing we must do is get rid of the body. There are a number of man-made lakes around here. We weigh the body down. That will buy the Malloys some time. Shawn, you said you would be leaving in a few days? Going back into outer space?" Trowa asked and the older man nodded. Trowa continued, "Can you live with this? Never telling your wife?"  
  
"My wife has secrets of her own. Secrets she doesn't feel ready t' discuss. Secrets she's held close for nearly fifteen years, since the Sank Kingdom was destroyed the first time. She was important t' the royal family, I can tell by the way she speaks of them. And somethin' terrible happened t' her on that day. Somethin' that she never even told Elene. If she is strong enough t' hold that secret, then I'm strong enough t' live wi' this secret," Shawn replied.  
  
Heero gave a "Hn" in response. He looked at Zechs, now sleeping peacefully. Then he looked at the window and asked, "Do you have a spare window? If you want to convince your wife that nothing happened here tonight, we have to replace that window. And get the glass out of here." Shawn blinked, then nodded with a faint smile.  
  
"Downstairs. I can get that, while you take care of. . .that," he replied, indicating the body in the bathroom. Heero nodded, and Shawn continued, looking concerned, "Are you sure about this? I mean, you aren't the ones responsible for his death. What if you're suspected when his body is recovered? And isn't it possible that if you knew our house was being attacked. . .?"  
  
"We can hack into the L2 government computers when we're done here, and wipe out any trace of the compromise. As for your question about being suspected, that's true. . .but this guy was the leader of a gang who preyed upon the weak and the helpless. He would have made a lot of enemies. . .and thus, there will be many suspects. Assuming, of course, anyone is concerned about his death," Trowa replied. Heero couldn't argue with that.  
  
Trowa paused, then added, "You asked if we were sure. I can't speak for Heero. But I'm absolutely certain. We gundam pilots. . .we chose to fight in order to protect. That's the source of our strength, as I once learned from a female warrior." Heero smiled, knowing that his friend meant Lucrezia Noin. Trowa added, "You are protecting your wife, Zechs, and Ciara. As are we. Yes, I'm sure. I just hope, when Ciara does remember, that she's strong enough to forgive herself for what she had to do tonight. Make sure she's strong enough."  
  
Shawn nodded, still looking confused, but he replied, "I'll get the window from the basement. Thank God Talia insisted we keep a spare, in case the window was broken again." He moved out of the door way, then turned back to look at the two boys. He said softly, "In case you're not here when I get back with the window, I just wanted t' say. . .thank you."  
  
With that said, he quietly slipped down stairs. Trowa turned and looked at Heero, saying, "We have a lot of work to do. Let's get started." Heero nodded in understanding as he turned away from the room of his former opponent, and headed for the bathroom. Mission, accepted. 


	3. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Talia Malloy straightened up, looking around the cockpit of the new ship in awe. They really did it. The Pax was theirs now, and they were back in outer space. Before their departure three weeks earlier, she and Shawn reaffirmed their decision to take a more active role in the universe. This time, they would not be passive. This time, things would be different.  
  
They agreed about that, when she returned home from Olga's, three days before their departure. With Talia's comforting presence (comforting, she questioned, though not out loud), Olga relaxed enough to sleep somewhat. About two hours before dawn, they received the call. Katya would pull through. Olga cried herself to sleep from sheer relief. Talia stuck around for another few hours, just to watch over the baby, then went home.  
  
She talked with Shawn, who decided the previous night that they should leave within a few days. He was deeply concerned by the idiots who attacked Zechs and Ciara. Talia agreed, with his concern and his observation that it was time they returned to space. They had their time of peace, their downtime. It was time to get back to work.  
  
She gazed at the stars, folding her arms over her chest. God, it was so beautiful out here. So very beautiful. So. . .pure. She actually hated that word. Pure. Purity. She heard it applied to the Gundam pilots so many times, heard people speaking of their purity. The purity of the true warrior, of the true soldier. Purity was a lie. Especially in war. Her lips curled as she thought of the speeches she heard Treize Khushrenada give. Those were, of course, the reason why Shawn hated him. And he held Relena in contempt for the exact opposite reason. .  
  
She had her own blood-stained memories to attest to that. War was a great, bloody mess. There was no purity in it, no honor. No glory. No. . .beauty. Talia shivered, rubbing her forearms. And nearly jumped out of her skin when a soft, raspy voice murmured, "Losing yourself in outer space?" She spun around, and smiled guiltily when she saw Zechs. He smiled faintly, his blue eyes intense on hers, and added, "I remember, when I first got here. . .how awed I was by its silence. How quiet it was. How peaceful."  
  
"How pure?" she questioned dryly and he smiled again. Oh, that was something she was seeing more frequently. During the time they were on L2, he began smiling more frequently. More freely. He had a beautiful smile, one that took her breath away. Damn, did he realize how handsome he was? How beautiful he was? No, she doubted it.  
  
She turned back to space, saying softly, "Purity is such a lie, Zechs. During the last war, I heard so much from the Oz officers about how pure the Gundam pilots were. Perhaps it's because of the Mechs. The Mobile Suits. They didn't see how ugly, how horrible war really was. Maybe that's the reason I forgave you. Because, at the end, I saw what your true intention was. But Zechs, no matter how ugly you make war, in time, people will always forget. And the whole, misbegotten cycle starts all over again. There is no such thing as a lasting peace. Sooner or later, someone forgets how terrible war is. Or, they just don't care."  
  
Zechs nodded, putting his hand on her shoulder gingerly. The very hesitation in the gesture was a request for permission. She just smiled up at him, and the touch became more relaxed. Zechs said softly, "There is still purity in the universe, Talia. It's not a complete lie. I saw purity in my sister and Heero Yuy. He refused to kill me in our final duel, because it would hurt my sister. What is that, if not kindness?"  
  
//Oh Zechs,// she thought, shaking her head, //you are such a sweet idiot.// However, she didn't speak the words aloud. He was still so young. Sometimes made her feel so old. She lost whatever purity, whatever innocence, on a bloody morning nearly fifteen years earlier. The day Natasha Galinova died with her brother. If purity was a reason to live, then she should have died years earlier. With her baby brother, with her best friend, with King Raoul.  
  
She said softly, "You spoke of deserving to live, Zechs. When you battled with Heero in the Libra. Lt. Noin broadcast the images and the conversation. I heard what you said. What you both said. Purity has nothing to do with deserving to live. That's what I finally accepted. What I had to accept, if I wanted to keep what remained of my sanity."  
  
She paused, then took a breath, and went on, "I finally decided that purity doesn't determine a person's worthiness to live. I will fight to the death to protect others. I don't seek to harm others, unless they do harm first. Perhaps that's playing God, determining who lives and who dies, but I don't believe in God. My faith died with your parents."  
  
She turned away from the stars and looked at him more fully, saying, "You were wrong. In what you tried to do. In the actions you took. But not in your intentions. Your intentions were always good. And you were willing to accept the consequences, for yourself. For your actions. You were willing to be hated for all eternity, if it would just end war."  
  
Zechs looked away from her, and Talia sighed. He wasn't ready to forgive himself. He wasn't ready to listen. He wasn't ready to see his father's message to him. She mentally asked the king to forgive her. But until Zechs was ready to listen, until he was ready to heed the words of his long-dead father, she couldn't show him the message. If only she showed him the tape years earlier. . .but would it have really done any good? Would it have changed anything? Talia didn't know. They would never find out.  
  
Talia touched his face and turned back around, saying, "We all have our blood-stained memories, Zechs. You do. Shawn does. I do. And so we fight, so others will not experience that. I make this vow now. I will take up the fight once more, so my daughter will never have her blood- stained memories. So she will not find it necessary to fight."  
  
She stared at the expanse of space, at the stars and the black velvet that surrounded them. There was a second, hesitant touch on her shoulders, and Talia covered Zechs' hands with her own. Yes. She was finished with hiding. From this day forward, no more children would be forced to fight in her place. That was the final part of her legacy from Petyr. No more little boys, no more infant girls, no more teenagers would be sacrificed. She, Natasha Galinova, Natalia Malloy, swore it. Never. . .again. 


End file.
